Clusters of Souls

Maybe there are clusters of souls born again and again into the same repertory company, and with each new birth they play different parts in a different play. Or maybe it’s the same play. This would account for those moments of Oh! there you are! After all, there are those people we like and dislike, there are those people we love, and then there are those we recognize. These are the unbreakable connections.

-Abigail Thomas

The thing that drew me to Tom’s profile picture was the kindness on his face. Oh, and there were his buff forearms…

After OkCupid informed us that we mutually “liked” each other, we began to message each other. Long, genuine messages in which neither of us worried about appearing too interested and overeager to meet.

We never played those games with each other.

We started to talk on the phone every night, forsaking those unwritten rules about waiting a respectable amount of time before the next phone call. (I know what you’re thinking: A man in 2015 under the age of thirty who is willing to actually speak words into a phone with a potential mate?!) Yes, my dear readers, they do exist.

It was February 2015. We started talking at the beginning of the month, and on Valentine’s Day I was home sick on the couch with the flu. He texted me a video message saying he hoped I felt better soon and played part of Norwegian Wood for me on the guitar. I already had a feeling that he would be good, but it was the first time I had heard him play and I was smiling ear to ear.

This is who I want to date, I thought. He was caring and thoughtful. His smile could light up a…screen? (I hadn’t been in the same room with him yet, so…) In any case, I was in.

So as you can see, before we had even met, we already knew we were into each other. We didn’t play hard to get. We didn’t play our cards close to the vest. We were willing to meet with open minds and hearts and see where this thing went.

The first moment he sat down across from me at Starbucks, I felt a strange sense of familiarity.

Conversation flowed easily, like I was picking up on topics previously touched-upon with and old friend. I had to ask myself if we had ever met in passing at a social gathering in college. (We had gone to school right down the street from each other). No, we had never met. But it was like I already knew him.

By the end of our first date we had already set up our next meeting, which would be 3 days later.

It wasn’t until last month, the month of our marriage, that I came across the quote at the top of this post while reading the book What Comes Next and How to Like It.

Maybe our souls have interacted in a previous incarnation, where we met via personal ad in the newspaper, or by smoke signal.

For the record, I don’t really believe in these things, but it makes for a fun thought.




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